Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Empty nest not so fast

Where are all those school pictures? I'v got to get them out for the party. Go to work early , then get back , get things ready for guests, oh, and find time to nap too. Stay in bed its 5am, no get up, stay in bed, no get up, I argued in my mind, it was full of the to do lists and yet my body was still asleep, excited I could not fall back to sleep , so up I got. Heading to the kitchen I could smell the coffee, and hear the news on TV. Marty was already up as usual, so it was coffee and quiet time with Marty. Feeling sentimental, tonight we would be celebrating our Daughter Rebecca's High School Graduation! It all unfolded and there we were in the midst of the Party. Now 4:30 in the afternoon, it was family mostly about 25, the house was full of chatter , graduation songs played in the background. Rebecca was beautiful, long red curls hung around her face, what a beauty she has become. Before you knew it she was ready to head out. Quick, time for the cake and a toast. Then suddenly she announced "I got to go!" with her boyfriend in tow the two quickly ran out to join their classmates and friends down at the Pavilion. Not to long after that, it was off to the ceremony for us at 7pm. Taking pictures and running up the stairs to get just one more of her in the procession, I was so excited, no deep feelings of sentiment right then, just happy. 376 graduates walked the stage. Everyone was going in differnet directions as the ceramony ended. It was 10pm when we returned home with friends, chatting about everything and nothing. Excited about being up all night at the Grad night event, full of poker games, dancing lessons with professionals, magicians, an surf ride machine, climbing walls, mini racing cars and more. Off she went with her friends, she would return at 5am the next morning. She's now all done with her high school years. She is happy and resting today, so am I.

The last child of six, how I got here with my mind in tack is amazing. 33 years of parenting has been filled with much joy and pain for what it's worth. I have grown up with my kids , I was only 16 when I start this adventure. Its been wonderful to be the mother I dreamed of being as a little girl, a dream full filled... I am in aw of how it has all unfolded and what else life has for me. Full of JOY today, no sadness at all, no tears!!

Why were there no tears, why? I cried at all of my other kids graduations. I was happy for them all and moved by how time had been so fleating and what it all meant as I stood watching the milestone event, all teared up, never thinking the day would come.... why is it different this time?

Ahaa, I must say the baby has been the easiest of the six kids, we have our moments; yet she is very close to me , I trust her and she respects me deeply. The others were hard won success's, unlike this kiddo! She tells me " I love coming though the door after being gone for awhile,the smell of home is so comforting. She is striving to be independent and yet taking her time to take each step with thought and care. She got her Drivers License last week , the phone rang "Mom, guess what?" she said, I replied "What?" I passed!" she exclaimed. Excited and happy for her, knowing this is the next step for her, soon she will be buy a car. I am finding myself so content with her and my success as her mother.

She recently excepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. It was Easter and she with her sister Wendy and friend Kasey all made this decision. Oh, how, how sweet that service was, God spoke to each of their hearts that night and I reflected on all the time I have been waiting patiently on the Lord to fill his promises. Teenagers stumble, fall and rebel, I know this ; I was the worse of most. I also know the Lord had his hand in it all , & will watch over them as they struggled to discover their way into adulthood as he did with me.

Gray hairs are showing now and I am proud of everyone of them. True as stated many times before they are a signs of wisdom, its been hard at times, many nights of prayer, and turning it over to the Lord, I'v earned each gray hair, and would do it again...

I have been struggling myself in the last 3 years; as to, what I will do with myself, at this time of my life. No longer a mother with daily duties and responsibilities. I think of writing books, and returning to my accounting profession, that I left behind when Wendy was born. Perhaps I will go into Sales again, this time I do that Real Estate Dream... not sure which way to turn yet!
I returned to school this past winter and completed several computer classes to which I am very proud and happy to say I am very capable , still quite intelligent, even at my old age of 49. I found myself in the top part of the class. Real confidence boost that was, like the little train, "I think I can, I think I can." " I can"

Rebecca is off to College in the Fall to study at DVC. She will stay home for the time being. I suspect the remainder of time as she graduates and goes on to Art College to study Design'as well. So the empty nest is off in the distance and so are my tears. Joy is all I feel , that Jesus is so close to us now and tomorrow is full of hope! I am ready now for what's next, I think the tears before , came partly because I didn't feel ready to let go....
I'm ready now, what's next?